Never Ending Journey

Never stop just because you feel defeated. The journey to the other side is attainable only after great suffering.” ~ Santosh Kalwar

I started my fitness journey the year I turned 40. I was ready for a change, but not because I was worried about what I looked like or what people thought of me. I was focused on my health. Motivation is huge when it comes to big changes and my motivation was I wanted to be as strong as I needed to be at 40 and also for the rest of my life. And I ended up with a result that was never the goal. I lost 100 lbs.

I 100% know I did that work. I started with a couch to 5k. I discovered CrossFit. I counted calories and then I moved to Paleo and eventually settled into just eating how I ate, mostly making good choices, but with some wiggle room for splurges. I found people who believed in me and encouraged me. I found community. And I discovered that when you have a community of like minded people who are invested in you as much as you are invested in them the work isn’t so hard. It really didn’t even feel like work. And for many years that was the norm.

But things changed. We moved back to America and I realized how unique that community was. It wasn’t something that could be duplicated. Even though I tried. I tried several gyms – Globo gyms, CrossFit gyms, and online programs. I tried to get friends to be that community, but that’s not how it works (or at least not how I could get it to work). I was going to have to do this on my own.

Doing it on my own is hard. It’s been full of fits and starts. I have had some periods of success, but there have also been some pretty big fall backs. There have been medical things and life things that have derailed me and I’ve allowed them to become excuses. I’ve gained some weight and lost some weight. I’ve lost some strength and gained some strength. Currently I’m in a place of gained some weight and lost some strength. I’ve been further off the rails, but I don’t want to get there. I want to get back on track or rather I want to be back on track, but I’m having a really hard time actually wanting to do the work to get there. For the most part I’m talking nutrition. I have been able to maintain the fitness side of things.

Marathon training will most likely contribute to some strength loss. I do not have the capacity to do both and I’m okay with that. But marathon training and weight gain are not expected. So I’m trying to dial in my nutrition. Clean it up some. Find what works for me at this stage of my life and I’m finding that challenging. But I can do challenging. I know I can.